This post was originally written by Jennifer Ohman-Rodriguez, author of the forthcoming workbook, Gathering Stars: Reflections, Practices, and Prayers in Trauma Recovery, on Substack.
HOW GATHERING STARS CAME INTO BEING
Often readers and writers want an origin story for a book, especially books with meaning to them. Origin of any sort involves mess. Chaos. Separating light from dark, land from sea. Energy from within and around. Time (more than seven days). My mess forms into being over years. Sorrow. An often absent sense of hope.
Gathering Stars began as a search in holy scripture for the ancients who struggled with God in the aftermath of terrible things. In my own months and years of recovery from a single tragic event I accumulated quite a list. Forty-six scripture quotes that spoke to me in my PTSD healing and attempted parenting of sons also suffering. From psalmists raging at God to Gospel stories reminding me of life’s many cycles of death and new life.
I remember just needing alignment with something—words, people—close to God but not God. Because I felt disconnected from God and it would be years before I understood that any disconnect from self or other (including God) was a symptom of unhealed traumatic experience. This search and the writing that accompanied it calmed me, grounded me. Became a spiritual practice I did each morning before I got out of bed and faced a world I no longer felt fully a part of and more often than not did not recognize. These small quotes along with dark chocolate, green tea, and my bed held me together until I trusted that I could fully face the world again.
Two years or so into my healing process, when I was still cozy in my container of raging scripture, dark chocolate, green tea, bed, and hoping never to leave, another writer told me I needed an agent. I had no idea how to find an agent. But really I had no energy for it. Life was already way too complicated. And connecting with other people as I healed was still hard for me to do. It took so much more energy than it had prior to Tony, my late husband’s, tragic death. Someone however, and I believe it was spiritual travel writer Lori Erickson suggested I contact Kate Sheehan Roach. I think, although everything from those years of my life is hazy, I sent Kate some samples of my writing. She suggested we meet via Zoom. And I know that seems really a normal thing to do but at the time, which was pre-pandemic, it was not. But we met and Kate’s enthusiasm overwhelmed me like all of life did. But then she said this amazing thing. She said, “I feel called to represent you.”
Not sure how I replied because I can still feel in my body how those words landed on me with surprise, disbelief, and love.
Kate was tearing up at this point and I was feeling really emotional. So, I think I said, “okay,” even though it wasn’t required in the interchange. It just seemed my agreement was necessary. Then again, at that time I had a hard time reading people. My social professional skills somehow evaporated on the day of Tony’s death.
In this new relationship with a person who felt called to accompany me, Kate suggested multiple time over many months, “I think the scripture quotes need actual spiritual practices.”
“Why,” I’d ask thinking on some level that she was clueless. Because the whole point was reading the quotes over and over again. Which often lead to written reflections. And that behavior was the spiritual practice in my mind (but once again my thinking was a bit compromised. And I’m being gracious here to myself).
After our talks, I’d lie in bed complaining to the walls, “But I don’t like spiritual practices!”
Well, that’s not entirely true. I liked prayer. But the ones like breathing in joy and breathing out our collected earthly shit just did nothing for me. Unless they were trauma recovery practices by the trauma recovery wisdom figure, Peter A. Levine. Those I loved and did often.
But my agent, Kate, wanted me to add a spiritual practice to every scripture quote. And then make the whole thing into a book!
It’s amazing I even listened. I wasn’t in the habit at this point in my life of embracing anyone who was outwardly happy let alone bubbly. And Kate was really bubbly. While I was slow, staid, and had trouble putting thoughts into words and words into sentences.
Yet I must have trusted Kate. I only say this because like I said much of this time of my life is cloudy. However once when one of my son’s was angry with me he accused me of staying in bed all the time during those first years. But I pushed back because I do remember that I got up eventually every day and paid the bills, went grocery shopping, made dinner, got the car washed, and even started seminary. It’s just that everything took twice as long as it had before. And I did stay in bed until 10:00 or 11:00 AM. Which seemed long to me since I woke around 5:00 AM or so. Bed held me like a separate but safe container within my bedroom. One embracing me during this time of intense grief, trauma, and confusion. I also remember that neither son was up when I eventually rose. They, in their own grief and trauma, remained in their containers until early afternoon.
Kate proved tenacious. She did not give up on me or her idea of spiritual practices. And at some point, I’m not sure when, spiritual practices began dropping into my imagination like gentle raindrops. Well, most days. There were some torrential storms carrying lightning bolts of ideas as well. And only then did I begin to think my agent, Kate, might be right.
And that’s how Gathering Stars found its way into being.
Gathering Stars is available October 6, 2026 wherever books are sold!
